Eye of the Storm

The wind just picked up here and lightning is flashing across the sky in billions of brilliant pulses.

A storm is coming.

I just got home from dinner with my parents. My mom, who has the nerves of cast iron, made the decision at the beginning of all of this, that she'd come to Atlanta (my family all live in North Carolina) for every treatment. I told her she might change her mind when gas prices get up to $6 or $7 a gallon. She's stubborn. Like mother, like son. We had a great dinner, gnocchi at one of these little French-esque cafes. The dessert was great, perhaps that is more because of the fact that I have my second treatment tomorrow and I know I won't be eating like that for a while Nonetheless, the chocoloate raspberry mousse torte was to die for. My regimen has been to stop eating around 9pm on the before my treatment. The last one went so well that I have to admit I have pretty high expectations for the second go around.

Guess I'll find out, huh?

Tomorrow, like two weeks ago, I'll go in around noon and the treatment should take about 2.5 hours. I hope my same nurse is there. She's a really good sport and humors my incessant line of questioning with the patience of Job. can I help it if I actually want to know a little about all these chemicals being so gingerly pumped into my body?! Well, maybe less of the "gingerly" and more like carefully. Anywho, a lot is going into my veins.

Back to dinner tonite.

I have been considering after all this chemo crap is over to get a new perspective on life. My entire life (even that one year of insanity in S. Florida) I have lived in the South. It's time for me to get a new view. Born and raised in North Carolina, then moving to Georgia in my twenties, a brief stint in Ft. Lauderdale and then back to Atlanta since 2004. My whole life has been spent in the South. Good ole' fried cooking, years of "please" and "thank you, ma'am", that ya'll's and the aint's... Really, I wouldn't have traded in my childhood, twenties or even the past few years I've spent in Atlanta as a thirty-something, but... There's more out there I haven't seen. A change of venue, something new, something completely different. That's what I need.

Movin' on up!! A la Weezy Jefferson and the gang.

Where will I wind up?? Who know's? All I know is I need to beat this cancer stuff so I can get on woth my life. More to come on my "change in venue", but it's coming. I want to leave all this behind me. Speaking of leaving, it's late and I need to get in the bed, I have a hard time sleeping some nights and I need to give myself enough time to get to LALA land.

I will close with this: A few weeks ago one of the personalities on my favorite radio station decided to separate from her husband. She is always one of those chipper, happy-go-lucky attitudes on the show that you can just tell has some kind of drama going on behind the scenes. Anyway, she decided to go sky-diving and the radio station wanted to air the jump. Before the plane took off and all the static and feedback started they asked her why she felt the need to do this. Turns out that her and two of her friends had put together this idea to "leave some things behind" when they jumped. Each of the three girls had there "baggage" written on a piece of paper which they were going to leave on the plane when they jumped. The theory was that the pieces of paper (the thing that wanted to forget) would be lost at 14,000 feet once they hopped out of plane. I thought it was very poignant and quite a way to cathartically purge themselves of these negative vibes.

When I am done with all this and I am finally cancerr free, I want to figuratively take that jump. I need a catharsis of my own.

The thunder rolls...